Katie is bothered by fake psychics and $50 candles

note: this is not an image of the actual scary candle. I am too afraid of Scary Candle to put it on this blog, though I did take pictures.

After spending the entire day worrying that I have been cursed by a psychic and am doomed to find a scary candle hiding in my bed when I arrive home today, I can finally admit it: I am absolutely crazy and ABSOLUTELY bothered.

Last night I had the stupid idea to go see a psychic because her gypsy family was soliciting drunk people off of the street. Clearly mistake one. After a very poor tarot card reading, she suggested I purchase one of her stupid candles, which she said would bring me peace and happiness. She said they usually cost $100, but she would give it to me for $50. "But I only have $10!" I responded, though right now I'm not sure why I wanted a candle in the first place. She was just so cute and seemed to care so much about my little life. She said she would take the $10, and that I could "bring the money to her another time" to pay for the rest of the candle. This was mistake two. So I left with my happy candle, and I was feeling slightly confused but a little bit excited.

Flashforward to this morning: I wake up, an hour earlier than usual and terrified of the candle I purchased the night before. I am convinced that I have to return it to the psychic or give her the rest of the money, or I will live in doom forever. The candle is insanely scary: it is just white wax carved to look like a woman. I decide then and there that I cannot keep the candle in my apartment for one more day, or God will smite me for worshipping false idols while the lady-candle attacks me in my sleep or moves around the apartment on its own. I really want to just throw the candle away, but I am afraid to suffer the consequences (i.e. the candle coming back to haunt me, the psychic putting a curse on my soul, etc. The normal thoughts of a sane human being).

In the end, after many frantic phone calls, I decide to head to the subway and do away with Scary Candle. I thought this would give me peace, but instead I have obsessed over the possibility of Scary Candle reappearing in my apartment for the ENTIRE day. So, I am bothered. Why can't I just STOP BEING AN IDIOT and forget about the damn candle?! IT IS A CANDLE. IT PROBABLY COST THE PSYCHIC $2. IT WAS A SCAM. I hate that damn psychic for giving me this stupid candle. Even my psychic-loving, astrology obsessed co-worker agrees it was a scam.

COME ON, self. Lock. It. Up.